“The Devil’s Bagpipes”, Album (2008)

Recorded in London, 2008.  All songs written, recorded and (c) j$.

Stream all

Side 1

  1. Corporate Theme Song
  2. Bowl of Ebola
  3. I Wish I Was Daniel Johnson
  4. Sunny Disposition
  5. American Tourists (Part 1)
  6. Out Of Your Tiny Mind
  7. Too Fucked To Drink
  8. Genghis Khan’s Octopus
  9. Sand in the Vaseline
  10. Spear-Gardening In The Boner Orchard
  11. You Ate My Pie

Side 2

  1. American Tourists (Part 2)
  2. Spaceships And Lazer Guns (Influential Film)
  3. Badgers Over Basra
  4. Double Oral Double Anal
  5. Kitten On Crutches
  6. Wing Commander Bingo
  7. Tipping A Cow
  8. Mid-Nineties Reformation Bunfight
  9. Less To You Than Meets The Eye
  10. You Must Get High

“The World’s First Pocket Radio”, Album (2008)

By Mr B and Mr C.  Recorded in London and Australia.  All songs written, recorded and (c) j$ / Sausage Boy.

Click here for album page

  1. Radio Dada
  2. Don’t Lose Your Mind
  3. Chuck Norris Exercise Machine
  4. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
  5. A Fashion Statement
  6. The Girl Who Ate Her Father
  7. Blank Stare

Side Two

  1. It’s Only Cheating If You Get Caught
  2. The Single
  3. With You
  4. (I Have A) Backpack
  5. Sympathy for the Jet Set
  6. Lead Singer’s Instruction Manual
  7. Still Waiting …

“We are the 48”, Double Album (2016)

Recorded in London and elsewhere, day 1 After Brexit – day 100 AB.  All words and music by j$, except where indicated.  Featuring contributions from Andy Balham, Dirk Bag, Susan Cantey, Hoopshank and Lady Sapient.

Side 1

  1. DABDA
  2. Reading Books for the Belgians (with Lady Sapient)
  3. Song for the 2.3 Million (words by J$, music by Andy Balham)
  4. The Man in the Lie Castle
  5. The Next Prime Minister
  6. Wait Sensitivity
  7. Nice People’s Revolution
  8. Post-Brexit Trade Negotiation Blues
  9. The Problem with Democracy
  10. Blue Red Blues
  11. Anyone But Wales (words by j$, music by Andy Balham)
  12. Gallows Humour

Side 2

  1. Annus Horribilis
  2. Pictures of Cute Cats
  3. I Thought We Were Friends (arrangement by j$, words & music by Dirk Bag)
  4. A Short Song About the Olympics
  5. Caveman Polka  (words by j$, music by j$ and Hoopshank)
  6. Good Luck Charm
  7. Welcome to Violence
  8. Stay In
  9. Granny Knot
  10. Theresa Mayhem
  11. Massive Bruise
  12. Brexit Time Machine

Side 3

  1. Good Ol’ Days (Aren’t Coming Back) (words and music by j$ & Susan Cantey)
  2. Don’t Want to Talk About It
  3. Remainiac
  4. London Versus England
  5. The Lonely Marxist
  6. Referendumb
  7. Rubbish to Go
  8. Check Yr Pressure
  9. Clouds (words by j$, music by Andy Balham)
  10. Pocket Full of Nothing
  11. For the Tourists
  12. Taking a Dump on the MD’s Desk

Side 4

  1. Why Do We Only Win in the Movies?
  2. The Great British Bodge-Job
  3. Concrete
  4. Buyers’ Remorse
  5. A Snorkel for King Canute
  6. Johnny Versus the Volcano
  7. The New Geography of Europe
  8. Post
  9. Cortina Cortege
  10. All Trousers, No Talk
  11. 48, Days Later
  12. European Love Union


“File Under Uneasy Listening”, Album (2006)

My first ever Johnny Cashpoint ‘album’ – a collection of Songfight and AAD songs that have a punky twist.  Recorded in London (and elsewhere) in 2005/2006.

Featuring contributions from Marcus Kellis & Andy Balham, though I can’t quite remember all of them. Hey. it’s a long time gone and ‘Nostagia springs its trap’,indeed 😉


Side One

  1. Get Me Back (1.30)
  2. Attack of the Show (2.49)
  3. Pieces of Eight (3.16) ft. Marcus Kellis
  4. Oversleeping (1.54)
  5. Leaf Blower (3.20)
  6. Silent Decree (4.30)

Side Two

  1. Crack in my Heart (1.48)
  2. The Fuck Song (3.19)
  3. Welcome to the Seventies (3.35)
  4. Evan is Getting his Teeth  (2.31)
  5. We Have the Technology (3.00) ft. Andy Balham
  6. … Vishnu Cycle (4.04)

All songs (c) j$


“Nothing’s Funny Under a Tory Government”, Album (2016)

By Johnny Cashpoint.

Some songs have swears, so NSFW. c. 25 mins of your time.


Side One

1.Skynetflix (2.05)
2.Taking a Fence (1.33)
3.Hipster Corpse Trampoline (2.37)
4.The Pig Society (1.34)
5.Psychedelia Smith (2.02)
6.Shakespeare Had a Cat (2.43)

Side Two

1.Better In Than Out (1.38)
2.What Colour Is Your Poo? (1.32)
3.A Right Pain in the Neck (1.33)
4.Weekend at Bernie Sanders’ (2.14)
5. I Hate My Boss (2.14)
6.The Death of the Circumflex (2.43)

Written and recorded in London, February 2016.  All songs (c) J$.

“Gay to Z”, Album (2013)

by Johnny Cashpoint.


Side One
1. A is for Anti-Anal
2. B is for Balloon Animals
3. C is for Creampie
4. D is for Dog, Returning to its Own Vomit
5. E is Equality
6. F is for Fetish
7. G is for Ghettos
8. H is for Hummus
9. I is for Invert on the Internet
10. J is for Jockstraps
11. K is for K
12. L is for Lesbians with Short Hair
13. M is for Mondegreens

Side Two
1. N is for No Strings
2. O is for Orgies
3. P is for Positive
4. Q is for Queer
5. R is for Robots
6. S is for Straight-Acting
7. T is for The Only Top in Town
8. U is for Unusual
9. V is for Virgins
10. W is for Watersports
11. X is for X-Rated
12. Y is for Young’Uns (Parts 1-3)
13. Z is for Zeitgeist

Recorded July / August 2013 in Oxford and London.

“Could’a Been an Outsider”, Album (2012)

The Best of the Tiny Paws of Fury.  Recorded in London 2004-2005.  All songs written, performed and (c) j$.

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Side One

1. My Tiny Tricycle
2. Daddy Doesn’t Love You Anymore
3. Catholic Choirboy in Trouble
4. Mummy, Why Are You Crying?
5. What’s So Bad about Cancer?
6. I am a Cannibal
7. I Need a Crap
8. (Don’t Want to See You) Naked
9. The One
10. Sex Party at the Mortuary

Side Two

11. Let’s Destroy Music (Part 3)
12. Tyler Crotty for President
13. 912
14. Last Men on the Moon
15. Porn of the Dead
16. The Tiny Paws of Fury Write a Love Song
17. Screaming Basement
18. Lesbian Car (edit)
19. The 2005 Sci-Fi Olympics (Part 1)
20. Whatever Happened to the Almanac Killer?